Editor's note: What follows is an entirely true and unabridged online conversation between Steve's Word editor in chief Tim Spellman (Me) and contributor Ryan Kennedy.  It remains in its original form, grammatical errors and all.  We invite you to experience a little peak at what goes on in our offices, a glimpse of our own creative process.  Enjoy the ride.

2:09 PM me: yo yo2:10 PM Ryan: I just came probably the closest I have to crapping my pants in adult hood2:11 PM me: literally?are you on the can now?

2:13 PM Ryan: Nah  I waited  Till after  It was a close call though.  Now that that's hopefully cleared up for a minute2:14 PM me: that happened to me recently too. it's really scary. it's like "is this really about to happen?" Am I really going to shit myself?" Ryan: Dude, it was close.Driving from lunch back to the officeme: pissing my pants is one thing, but shitting yourself, that's just an urban legend Ryan: Left all my shit in the car, but I couldn't actually run in me: at least you were alone in your car, you could have just shit yourself and then called in sick
Ryan: I would have probably thrown up if I didme: we're u holding your butt as you scurried across the parking lot?2:16 PM
Ryan: Nah. Hands free.
me: i'm totally lol-ing right now. shitting yourself and then puking. that's too much2:17 PM driving down the street with your head out of the window Ryan: After seeing what was the cause of the hurry, oh yeah. I couldn't drive 5 feet in that mess without blowing all over the windshield2:18 PM me: then you drive off the road. how do you explain that to the cops? you better hope the news doesn't get ahold of a story like that2:19 PM Ryan: Hope they have one of those shiny thermal blankets the use for avalanche survivors and some moist towlettes.  Have the car towed to the detail shop2:20 PM I'd be sobbing uncontrollably  This all sounds like a big joke, but it was about a quarter inch away from reality2:21 PM me: driving under the influence. think there would be any criminal charges or the cops would just be like, "don't worry about it"2:22 PM "Well, Mr. Kennedy, you killed a young boy on his bicycle, but we'll let this one slide. We understand" Ryan: God. You know that story would get around the radio in a hurry me: oh now doubt. i would post it on gawker Ryan: And my buddy Kramer working at the news always sits there listening to the police scanner2:23 PM This is like a fucked up version of Sliding Doors  This whole alternate reality me: would you enter some sort of witness protection program? Go off the grid like Bourne?  We just totally butterfly effected you shitting your pants in your car2:24 PM Ryan: Great "verbage", to borrow a Palinism, there me: "and for which that for at"2:25 PM Ryan: That can't be a real quote  Or can it? me: i just made it up, but it's believable Ryan: God, she's ruined me  Nothing is real anymore2:26 PM me: it captures the "essence"  nothing matters and nothing is real. there is no truth Ryan: How believable would our butterfly effect sequence be on screen?2:27 PM Start with a little suspenseful buildup  Some good rumbly foley work  A panicked look  A brown trickle me: that would be hilarious  hahaha2:28 PM Ryan: Boot on the windshield me: at the end we cut to you running into the toilet Ryan: Hard cut to being wrapped up in a shiny blanket  Consoled by troopers  Some are laughing me: we should carry it all they way through to people sitting around the office laughing about it as they read the blogs2:29 PM Ryan: Then cut back to reality: camera in the br as the door flies open and you make it in the nick of time2:30 PM me: should it be a commercial for a restaurant. "Chili's: Now with more locations. There's one closer than you think" Ryan: Hahaha2:31 PM Or Immodium pocket strips me: even better. Immodium insta-tabs Ryan: Right, like listerine strips2:32 PM Oh jesus me: "Don't let the shits ruin your life" Immodium Insta-Tabs Ryan: Why don't you say we do this? To borrow a phrase from cakefarts me: "Let's do this thing"2:33 PM Ryan: Is this the next SW video?  Am I back on the team? me: pretty high production value, but I think we can pull it off. we need to crash a car  not until you pen the script Ryan: The car doesn't need to crash, just kind of parked in a ditch2:34 PM I say you cut away before the crash me: you need to kill a kid or a dog Ryan: But use some audio me: someone's car will have to be defiled with puke and shit all over the place Ryan: Nah, that's too violent on screen2:35 PM me: go huge or go home Ryan: You could just cover some pile of trash with a yello tarp  I want to leave it up to you,the viewer, to decide me: you gotta have the puke splatter on the windshield to justify the accident2:36 PM you trying to wipe it off with your sleeve Ryan: this new generation has to show everything on screen. It's lazy. Stop after the puke and the shit2:37 PM me: well, we can always shoot more than we actually end up using
2:39 PMRyan: I think this thing may have actually been phase 1 of a bonafide stomach flu2:40 PM This is all gonna seem a whole lot less funny to me when I'm hugging the toilet at work in 15 minutes2:41 PM me: well, i'll still be laughing Ryan: That's ok2:43 PM I'm in my office and there's like 6 different bathrooms to run to2:44 PM me: that's awesome. there's nothing worse than a bad bathroom situation at work  like one toilet shared by male in female co-workers in close proximity to where someone actually works2:47 PM Ryan: Yeah, but how many are locked or full before I find an open one2:48 PM me: you're playing a dangerous game. maybe you should go home or bring your laptop into the shitter just to play it safe