From prostitutes to Ponzi schemes, this wasn't a great year for Jewish politicians or notable persons.  In fact, if a Jew was in the news it was probably a bad thing, but I guess that doesn't exactly set 2008 aside as anything special.  What did make it special was the amazingly ferocious idiocy and unmitigated disasters that kept these guys in the corners with their yarmulke-sized duncecaps.  Really astounding.  And we're supposed to be a smart people.  But then again, we're supposedly really greedy so I guess some generalizations and prejudices stand firm.  Yippee.

Of course, no talk of the public Jewish failures of 2008 could begin with anyone but Eliot Spitzer.  Oh, how horny and shiksa-obsessed our Governor turned out to be!  And what a great example of all the hypocrisies that us assimilated diaspora Jews inherently display: the love of sex while imploring moralism, the hideously fast fall from grace, the determined scowl that so quickly becomes the sweaty brow of a total perv.  And that receding hairline... don't get me started.  To look at Spitzer and understand that I would be lucky to be humiliated on such a grand scale was truly the low point of my life.

But soon enough we all forgot about that mess and settled into life under our astoundingly unprepared new Governor and attention turned to the historic election that stretched out nearly forever.  And even though there was a plethora on totally insane bullshit, none of the tearful press conferences or campaign authorized in-fighting really compared to the scandalous presence of one Senator Joe Lieberman.  The quote-unquote Independent Senator from Connecticut has truly been a painful boil on our collective body for a long time, really since 2000 when his VP candidacy did more harm to Gore's chances than a hundred Ralph Naders could ever hope to inflict; this year was worse than that by far.  Instead of being able to shrug off Joe's bad influence in 2000 as something other than exactly what it was, there he was standing next to John McCain, there he was introducing Sarah Palin, there he was shaking hands with Joe the Plumber.

Has there ever been anything worse than a Jew standing on the side of the Old White Men?  Are we really that assimilated?  It's hard to believe that such a thing could ever be the case in a world when we could never truly be "home," no matter what lines on a map might suggest.

And then Obama won and we all speculated about what sort of punishment might be inflicted upon Joe, would he lose his chairmanship, would he lose all his friends?  Nah, just a lot of hubbub to keep the wheels turning, threats as substantial as that eternal speck of sweat on Barney Frank's upper lip.

And before the Glenn Greenwalds of the world could get too incensed, the economy collapsed and we changed the subject.  But not really.

Not only does our economic meltdown have a Jewish face, but the recession that is its aftermath does too.  While the economic meltdown could be envisaged by Hank Paulson, Ben Bernanke, Richard Fuld, or the motley crew of auto industry execs who flew down to Washington in their private jets, it turned out to be the wrinkled head of Alan Greenspan that carried the day.  The man who ran the Fed sure did a good job of falling on his sword while admitting that there was a flaw in his logic about the economy.  Too bad no one else could do the same regarding the sub-prime mortgages and various other bullshit schemes that were repackaged and foisted onto an unaware public.  If only flaws in logic could explain all our foibles.

But they can't, they can't explain any of it, really.  What could ever begin to explain the Bernie Madoff disaster?  The epitome of the user and abuser who takes the gullible for everything they're worth, Madoff also had the chutzpah to specifically target his brethren.  Apparently all sense and cognition gets thrown out the window by the Spielbergs of the world when a grey haired, hook-nosed banker walks into the room.  Once again, those assumed smarts on display!

And let's not forget NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg's super-villian-esque quest to remain in office forever, despite referendums by the people to maintain the two term limit.  Really, who cares what they think, anyway?

What might we have to look forward to in 2009?  Now that Rahm Emmanuel will be Chief of Staff, it's safe to say the future doesn't seem to be getting brighter for us Shabbos observers.  Obama hasn't even taken office yet and the media has treated us to stories of Rahm's insurmountable rage, his penchant for shouting and threatening, and the post-Clinton victory retributions.  He's barely gotten out of this Blago mess alive, having to be cleared in Obama's report on the issue, something that seems to exist entirely to let the world know that Rahm, and not Obama, had nothing to do with nothing.  2009 looks fucking bright, doesn't it?

And as the year ends with a bang (literally), we can all commence with the hand-wringing about Israel.  On that subject, all I can say is: Gutt zol helfen.  And I really mean it.