• What were you most looking forward to this weekend?

Spending time with people under the age of 3.

• Any updates to your Netflix queue?

No, I've been stalled out trying all weekend to get through a very boring french film about reality television, so boring in fact I can only watch in 20 minute increments.  There are two upsides to the whole experience, however: I learned that François Berléand, who plays the Inspector role in the Transporter movies, has incredible range and also there's a shot of Diane Kruger's saggy ass which made me feel better about things.

It's six in the morning and I'm sitting here at my desk at the front of the Steve's Word office.  This is becoming quite my column modus operandi, I think that's the phrase.  At least I'm not hungover this time and I'm not shaken to my very core.  I'm feeling quite the contrary, to tell the truth, because I got laid last night.  I know, I know.  I didn't think it would happen to me again either, especially after my very explicit previous column.  I guess it's a good thing not everyone reads Steve's Word.  Wait, that can't be right.

Oh man, I feel fantastic; I'm sure you've felt like this once or twice in your life.  And, not to brag or anything, but I thought I might share with you some lessons and revelations that I picked up last night.  Don't worry, it's safe for work.  Unless you don't work at home.  Just kidding.