Editor's note: Originally posted January 30th, 2006, there's something incredibly quaint about this column now.  Gosh, the time when certain human interations were excluded from the internet seems like forever ago.  In a time when technology and socializing have not only merged but are also speeding forward at a similar rate, we're already starting to see facebook status updates that lead to broken hearts and it's really only a matter of a few months before the kiss off is delivered in 140 characters and the hash tag "#u been dumped."  With that in mind, let's all recall a simpler time, when the question of whether you could e-dump without being an asshole was a real head-scratcher.

Have we finally reached the point in society where it is OK to break up with someone over email? I say, Hell Yes! If you knew me personally you’d say, “Hey Tim, my experiences with you lead me to believe you are a passive-aggressive coward, afraid of confrontation, and ultimately a fucking asshole. This is why you support the email break-up.” I would reply, “You may be right, but I still think it’s ok to break up with someone via email under certain conditions.” These certain conditions are such; you met on the internet, you are ending a short-term-long-distance relationship, or either you or the person you are dating graduated high school in or after the year 2001.

I’ll never forgive her for this. Here we are supposed to be relaxing, and it’s all going wrong. It seems like everything is right, we’re in a small brick building in the spa wing of a fancy hotel on a Caribbean island, the lighting is soft and low, the music is new wave, there’s an unmistakable scent of eucalyptus in the air.