Editor’s Note: Welcome to Steve’s Word newest weekly series “Tips for the (Fellow) Unemployed”. Please embrace our newbie contributor Paul Elicker to the site. He has his own site with hilarious writings and even funnier drawings. We asked him if we could rip off some of his material and he graciously accepted our overture. You can find this piece and much more on Paul Elicker’s blog Thrillerverse.com.

You wake up screaming, then sigh, “Phew, it was only a dream!” NO! These are my tips for wading through the unemployment that is definitely real!

So say you get that call for that holy interview and even after your best efforts to dress nice you still look like a fat owl when you walk in the door, the interviewer won’t even want to look you in your big fat eyes. Thanks to our last tip you’ve hopefully stopped eating toxic amounts of Tostitos by now, but that’s only half way there.

Tip #5: Exercise!

Editor’s Note: Welcome to Steve’s Word newest weekly series “Tips for the (Fellow) Unemployed”. Please embrace our newbie contributor Paul Elicker to the site. He has his own site with hilarious writings and even funnier drawings. We asked him if we could rip off some of his material and he graciously accepted our overture. You can find this piece and much more on Paul Elicker’s blog Thrillerverse.com.

LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF!! These are my tips for getting through the faulty roller coaster ride of unemployment!

So you were all set in mind and body – positive, attractive – and then you got shot down because you couldn’t find any jobs to apply to. And maybe you got a rejection email without even getting an interview. And also maybe you’re broke. But that’s OK – you’ve only wasted two-thirds of a day you’ll never get back, no big deal.

Editor’s Note: Welcome to Steve’s Word newest weekly series “Tips for the (Fellow) Unemployed”. Please welcome our newbie contributor Paul Elicker to the site. He has his own site with hilarious writings and even funnier drawings. We asked him if we could rip off some of his material and he graciously accepted our overture. You can find this piece and much more on Paul Elicker’s blog Thrillerverse.com.

Just because you ate that college pie doesn’t mean you’re not hungry! These are my tips for getting through the unemployment of your nightmare to the job of your nicer dreams!

Now that your bedroom is open for business, your hair is saying “Yes” and you’ve got the attitude to match, you are ready to start the job hunt.

This is often seen as the most miserable and time consuming part of unemployment, just after the alcoholism and food-abuse. It is possible to spend hours crawling job sites and corporate career portals without finding a single job that you can apply for – whether because of your lack of qualification or education or your failure to pay the internet bill. Also the economy is bad.

Editor’s Note: Welcome to Steve’s Word newest weekly series “Tips for the (Fellow) Unemployed". Please welcome our newbie contributor Paul Elicker to the site. He has his own site with hilarious writings and even funnier drawings. We asked him if we could rip off some of his material and he graciously accepted our overture. You can find this piece and much more on Paul Elicker’s blog Thrillerverse.com.

Turn that frown upside down, you’re just unemployed, not dead! These are my tips on getting through unemployment with dignity and clean pants.

So you’re awake and you’ve brushed your hair – you’re already two steps down the road to a job and not being a wreck! Now you can start to work on that attitude

Tip #2 Get a Good Attitude

Editor's Note: Welcome to Steve's Word newest weekly series "Tips for the (Fellow) Unemployed #1. Please welcome our newest contributor Paul Elicker to the site. He has his own site with hilarious writings and even funnier crude drawings. We asked him if we could rip off some of his material and he graciously accepted our overture. You can find this piece and much more on Paul Elicker's blog Thrillerverse.com.

For those of you who have just graduated college with long standing dreams of employment (like me), you’re painfully aware that you’ve graduated into one of the most volitile job markets in at least a couple dozen years. The journey from graduation to job is a long and perhaps brutal one – like crossing a salt flat. But it doesn’t have to be that terrible, and there are steps that you can take to ensure the journey is easier and maybe more fun – like crossing a salt flat

Tip #1: Look Good!

What were you most looking forward to this weekend?

I was looking MOST forward to going to this party with these Finns I know from my job converting DVDs from Euro PAL to AUFAT (Australian Format). They said it was going to be in Park Slope but then when I get there I called my friend Manny the Finn and it turns out the party is actually in the park. So there we are, all standing under this footbridge in Prospect Park smoking weed and drinking this booze from a Gain detergent bottle that Manny said was a traditional Finnish drink but I think it was maybe just Gain. Anyways, I wake up the next morning in a tree covered in vomit that wasn't mine because I'm pretty dang sure I didn't eat hot dogs the day before. But at least I smelled good.

Any additions to your netflix queue?

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